Female Orgasms: How to Pleasure a Woman
Taking things into the bedroom for the first time can feel daunting. Whether you’re in a long-term relationship or keeping things open, understanding female orgasms is crucial to learning how to pleasure a woman. There are lots of myths and misconceptions around female orgasms.
The reality is that no two orgasms are the same. Each one varies in length and intensity. Women orgasm less than men, with research showing that women only orgasm around 62% of the time when having sex regularly with a consistent partner. For men, it’s 85% of the time. Heterosexual and bisexual women orgasm less than lesbian women when having sex with a partner.
Knowing how to pleasure a woman can create a more satisfying relationship, better sex for both parties and open dialogue about what you want to try in the bedroom.
We’re breaking down everything you need to know about female orgasms and how you can ensure your partner achieves one.
What is a Female Orgasm?
The ‘big O’ is the build-up of pleasure and sexual tension that results in a feeling of tensing, spasming, twitching, or throbbing in the vagina and anus. For some women, this sensation can take over their whole bodies.
Orgasms feel different for every woman, even if you try pleasuring them in the exact same way. The female body releases dopamine and oxytocin during an orgasm, creating positive feelings and a sense of attachment. It might take some trial and error to find what works for your partner, which is why open communication is important to understand what turns them on.
Different Ways to Achieve a Female Orgasm
Pleasuring a woman isn’t a one-size-fits-all activity. Different things will turn on different people.
It’s a common misconception that there are different types of orgasms. There is only one type of female orgasm, but it can be achieved in many ways and by touching different body parts. A woman’s body will react in the same way, regardless of how or where it is being touched when it has an orgasm.
Sexual pleasure is a personal experience, but there are four main areas to explore to achieve a female orgasm:
- Erogenous zones: It’s not uncommon to hear women talk about having an orgasm from having their nipples touched. The breasts are known as an erogenous zone, meaning the body reacts positively to being touched there. Other erogenous zones include the thighs, lips, and neck.
- Anus: Touching the outside of a woman’s anus may cause an anal orgasm.
- Vagina: It’s a common misconception that vaginal penetration has to be involved for a female orgasm to be achieved. Less than 20% of female orgasms are the result of vaginal stimulation.
- Clitoris: While every woman is different, research suggests that most require some type of clitoral stimulation to reach an orgasm. It’s one area you want to focus on when pleasuring your female partner.
Is the G-spot Real?
The infamous ‘G-spot’ isn’t scientifically proven. A woman’s g-spot is believed to be on the upper wall of the vagina, which swells when a woman is aroused. Its existence is a debated topic – even amongst women. If it does exist, some women believe that pressing or stroking the G-spot can help them reach an orgasm. Don’t forget that there are other ways to pleasure a female partner and that vagina stimulation isn’t always necessary.
How are Female Orgasms Different from Male Orgasms?
The most noticeable difference between male vs. female orgasms is that men tend to achieve an orgasm faster than women. Learning how to pleasure your female partner can ensure you both come away satisfied. While men and women might orgasm at different times, the orgasm itself is fundamentally the same.
Male orgasms tend to have a longer refractory time, meaning it takes them more time to achieve their next orgasm. By comparison, women often experience orgasms in quick succession. While it might take a little time to make your female partner orgasm, you can make them climax more than once with the right methods.
How to Make a Woman Orgasm
Every woman is different, including what they need to orgasm. Some women will know exactly what they want and be able to communicate it with you, while others may still be experimenting with their own preferences. What one woman finds arousing might be an instant turn-off for another. Communication is important because it can de-mystify orgasms to make it easier for you to pleasure your female partner.
Don’t expect instant results the first time you sleep with a new partner. Take the time to explore her body to find which erogenous zones she responds to. Pay attention to how she reacts and respond accordingly. You’ll get better at pleasing your partner the more times you have sex. Don’t be afraid to use toys for extra stimulation, especially if your partner typically uses them during masturbation.
Stay relaxed and present in the moment. Nothing is more likely to turn off a female partner than if they think you’re too nervous or are uninterested. Don’t rush into the process and use foreplay to help build up tension and excitement.
Try different ways to pleasure your female partner. Don’t solely focus on vaginal stimulation. Most women don’t orgasm from vaginal penetration, so you’ll want to involve other parts of their body. Once you find what works, explore it further. You’re more likely to be sexually fulfilled by your partner and able to explore your own desires when you know how to sexually pleasure them.
Pleasuring Your Female Partner to Achieve an Orgasm
Female orgasms aren’t a myth or rocket science. While no two orgasms are the same, there are different things you can try to help your female partner orgasm. You’re more likely to feel satisfied if you can make them orgasm, and it’ll create a better relationship with more open communication.
Women are less likely to have an orgasm than men, usually because many of their partners assume vaginal stimulation is the only way to pleasure them. Use the advice in this guide to start exploring how to pleasure your female partner and change how you approach sex with women.