Why can't I stay hard during sex?
Almost every bloke out there will fail to perform in the bedroom at some point in their lives. Going soft during sex is never desirable, but look, it happens. Feeling concerned about it is completely normal too, especially if it’s happening more and more frequently.
30 years ago, an estimated 150 million men suffered from bedroom performance issues. Researchers predict the number will more than double when 2025 rolls around.
Today’s article will highlight some common factors of why a man can lose an erection during sex, and provide ways to help.
Why do some men lose erections during sex?
Losing an erection during sex can happen for a host of reasons, from the extremity of the porn you’re watching to the nutritional value of the food you eat.
Occasionally experiencing erection problems isn’t a life sentence for your hard-ons either. It’s normal to feel some amount of anxiety before things get hot and heavy in the bedroom, we all know that.
However, when the problem persists, medical professionals classify this as a condition called “erectile dysfunction.” This term means the persistent inability to get and maintain an erection for satisfactory sexual performance.
As we mentioned, the list of contributors is as long as your arm. If you suffer from ED, it’s beneficial for you to understand that there could be physical and/or psychological factors causing it. These can include:
Physical contributors to erectile dysfunction
Of the contributing factors towards your dick going soft in the bedroom, issues in the body might be easier to recognise and address than issues of the mind.
Diabetes
Erectile dysfunction is unfortunately very common in men with diabetes. Research suggests almost half of all men with type 1 diabetes suffer from erectile dysfunction (ED). Diabetes accelerates the hardening of arteries in your member. Diabetes can also cause something called “peripheral neuropathy,” which is basically nerve damage outside of the brain.
High blood pressure
ED is also common in men with high blood pressure, which is also called “hypertension.” When your blood pressure is elevated, damage can occur in the lining of blood vessels, including the vessels supplying blood to your cock.
Body weight
Are you wondering how to maintain an erection while not being in your ideal shape? Well, your body weight can have a massive bearing on your ability to gain and maintain a hard-on. Obesity can damage blood vessels around the penis, decrease your testosterone and sex drive, and cause a state of general inflammation in the body.
Drinking, smoking and substance abuse
Recreational drugs can massively increase the likelihood of ED. Alcohol, being the most socially acceptable and readily available substance, is a huge contributor to a sad bedroom performance. One study showed as many as 62% of alcoholics have some form of sexual dysfunction.
Psychological contributors
Aside from physical ailments that can lead to the unwanted loss of a hard-on, there can be many psychological and emotional contributors. After all, sexual function is just as much in the mind as in the body.
Some psychological contributors to ED include:
Stress
Just before you deliver in the bedroom, your mind is sending messages to your penis to get hard and stay hard. Before and during sex, a relaxed, mental state free from stressful thoughts will improve your performance. Personal and professional stress, such as work-life balance and relationship trouble is likely the main cause of ED in middle-aged men.
Performance anxiety
Similarly to the effects of stress, overthinking your performance creates anxiety in the mind. Will I be able to satisfy my partner? Will I be good enough to give them an orgasm? This gap between expectations and what you’re able to deliver can create anxiety that impairs sexual performance.
Sleep disturbances and disorders
Many have heard our partner say; “Not tonight honey, I’m a little too tired,” and there’s a lot of science behind the phrase. Tiredness and fatigue from sleep disorders pose a host of risks to your physical and mental well-being, as well as the ability to stay hard during sex. For example, one study found that 69% of participants with diagnosed sleep apnea also had ED.
What can I do to improve my sexual performance?
So now we’ve highlighted some bodily and mental contributors that result in lost erections, we should look at some ways you can help yourself in gaining and maintaining your hard-on.
Strive toward healthier living
First of all, there isn’t one silver-bullet activity to keep your cock hard for better sex. There’s a multitude of healthier lifestyle practices that, in combination, can improve your physical, mental, and sexual well-being. Have you looked at how your diet affects your sexual performance? Are you working out regularly enough? Could unhealthy drinking and smoking habits be curbed? All of these factors may work in conjunction with each other to benefit your performance in the bedroom, so improve them slowly and steadily alongside one another.
Improve your foreplay game
When you’re getting into it with your partner, dedicate some time to sexual pleasure beforehand that doesn’t involve penetration. You know what turns you on before you get hard and start going at it, so delve into this. Be open to talking with your partner about foreplay. Explore the option of sex toys that turn you on, and dedicate more time to sensual touching and oral sex before penetrating. When you get into penetration, don’t be afraid to experiment with positions to spice things up. Try out naughty sex-talk about what you’ll be doing later, and try foreplay naked for a while, delaying the time before you actually get into it.
Talk to a therapist
As mentioned earlier, losing erections can be caused by purely psychological contributors. Therapy and help you consider, confront and contextualise emotional issues like trauma and grief from your past. If you’ve already delved deeply into our other methods of improving your erections, it could be time to open up to a mental health professional. Really, what is there to lose? Trying therapy can be daunting, but overcoming and persevering might make the difference in your mind that lead leads to stronger and longer love-making sessions.
Are you as interested as us in curing erectile dysfunction?
Here at Mr Stiff, we’re in the business of helping men with consistent erections. We like the idea of healthy sex that results in pleasure for men suffering from ED, as well as their partners. Both partners should finish sex feeling satisfied…
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Keeping stiff during sex is a matter of the body and the mind. A healthy mental state combined with supplements that help you physically can lead you towards better sex.
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